I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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