Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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