I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
