i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
