I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
