remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
