White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize