Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
