I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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