oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
