We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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