I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize