no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
