Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
