So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My pussy is not your playground.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
