I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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