FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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