I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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