WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
