My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
