I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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