he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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