That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
