they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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