hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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