I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
