I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
