and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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