If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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