oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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