no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So many bounce houses so little time
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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