She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
