So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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