I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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