The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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