you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
