best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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