So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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