This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think a kid would responsible me up
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
