Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
