sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize