I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
