its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
