you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
