yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
