I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Too much gin, very little bucket
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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