Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
