a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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