ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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