I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We got so high we made milksteak
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
