I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
