Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
