i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
