She said her name was "party"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
