Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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