Pants 0. Shit 1.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
