I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize