When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
birth control should be required to get into college
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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