someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
