Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
