Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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